Martha S.

I have been reading your riveting book "The sociopath Next Door" and just wanted to make a comment, about the difficulty psychologists have been having calling sociopathy a disease when it causes no suffering in the person who has it, can it really be a disease.

I think the answer may be implied later in the book in the discussion about good people seeing themselves as part of something bigger than themselves, not taking an individualistis, I'm all that matters approach.

Perhaps medicine needs to take a less individualistic veiwpoint too, perhaps they need to look at communities as the unit of health, then sociopathy can clearly be seen as a disease, all the destruction, suffering and poor-productivity it causes.

Dr. Stout,

I just finished reading "The Sociopath Next Door". I am 52 and have a 54 year old sister who fits the description. I have always known she was without a conscience. She has married 3 times. Her second husband had her arrested for physically attacking him. She cried for two weeks, then moved on. She married her 3rd husband during a financial crisis, then left him the day my mom died. She had secretly been trying to get my mom to give her the family home in exchange for taking care of her (my dad died 3 years ago - my mom was an alcoholic). She tells people my husband is having affairs, then is totally nice to his face. She says I have always been jealous of her, and that I hate her. I get terribly frustrated with her, but I am more concerned about how much to interact with her. I confronted her about a month ago about several issues, and she denied or couldn't remember any of them. I said if she would admit to them, I could forgive. But if not, I knew I could never trust her. I have not spoken with her since.

My biggest concern is that she recently asked her soon-to-be ex-husband what he would do if I hired someone to hurt her. I am worried that she is projecting her intentions onto me. We live in different states, but I have teen daughters who used to idolize her, and I don't know if I should be worried for our safety.

Thank you for your thoughts.

Karen

Dear Dr. Stout,

I have read and listened to your descriptions of sociopaths. One characteristic seems to be a charasmatic personality. I wonder: my ex-boyfriend is a sociopath, I believe, but did not have a charasmatic personality. Instead, he was very quiet and used a very quiet and almost calming voice to convince me that I was crazy when he lied. He lied more than anyone else I've known in my life. He lied DAILY!, cheated on me and convinced himself and tried to convince me that it wasn't wrong. I could go on.....

Hello,
OMG!!! I am ordering your book "The Sociopath Next Door" I live next to one. I have been on line reading the definition of them and it is like looking at a clinical study of my neighbor. I have had a falling out with this woman (today 9-22-08) and I am still a little scare of her. I can't wait till your book arrives. She has hurt my dearest friend the most. Thank You for writing this book. It is going to help me and my friend tremendously.

Like Susan A. I also have an antisocial sister. It got so bad that last month I got a permanent restraining order against her. Her problems started at age 14. It took me 33 years to finally say enough. I feel bad for my elderly parents who have also given up on her. Thank you for writing this book. It helped us understand and know that we are not alone.

I loved your book, "The Sociopath Next Door". It accurately described my sister who has been "stalking" me for years.
I hope you will consider writing a book about Adult Siblings who Stalk. I knew as a young girl that something was wrong with my sister. She has done everything she can to try to directly and indirectly hurt me in small and large ways. I completely cut off contact 10 years ago and she continues to try to sabotage me. There is almost nothing out there about Siblings Who Stalk. Almost all the information is about husbands or boyfriends who stalk....nothing about siblings. I believe this problem is more prevalent that what people realize. It is a very embarrassing thing to discuss...I feel like I wouldn't be believed if I told some people what she has done to try to play head games or hurt me.

Also, I would love to see a book about we baby boomers who were raised by parents of the Great Depression. I am 51 years old and both of my parents were raised in rural Mississippi but got their education and did ok for themselves. We grew up lower middle class but never went hungry. I feel so terribly guilty for living in a nicer home, having nicer clothes, etc..because my parents sacraficed so much for us to have a nice life. I think there are others like me who feel a constant tug of guilt for having it better than our parents.

Thank you again for writing "The Sociopath Next Door". It validated so much that I "knew" but had to hear it from a professional.

Finally your book, The Sociopath Next Door, explains the people I have known. Thank you for giving me a word for the people who have come in and out of my life creating confusion and mayhem. If only 40 years ago there had been a word for these nuts, taught in high school when I met my ex-husband and the sociopaths that followed. I am using this word constantly in my conversations now when describing acquaintances. At least I now know it was not my imagination. For decades, I believed it was me. You say there is 1 in 25... then how many hundreds of people I must know. I must be a magnet.

Hello Dr. Stout,

I enjoyed your book, The Myth of Sanity. I am assembling a report on mental illness for congress. The information I am taking to them is about the fact that all the diagnoses in the DSM manual can be caused by stress.

I put together a chart of the symptoms--verbatim--comparing PTSD, acute stress disorder, bipolar, ADHD, and the symptoms of stress listed by Hans Selye, M.D., over 50 years ago in his book "The Stress of Life." I found that the symptoms are identical!

But most books on bipolar disorder and ADHD deny a role for stress.

I am going to try to post this chart on my site at gather.com, but if you can send me an email with your regular email address, I will send it as an attachment.

I am contacting you to invite your participation in my project which will reeducate doctors, psychiatrists, and psychologists, to enable them to understand the concept of PTDS. It has been widely acknowledged by experts in the field of PTSD that most mental health professionals are ignoring the role of traumatic experiences in their patients' lives.

I have also been in contact with several of your peers at Harvard: Bessel van der Kolk, M.D., Alvin Poussaint, M.D., Raymond Flannery, and Judith Herman, M.D.


Let me know what you think.

Chris Bennett

Dr. Stout - I am in the middle of a horrible divorce - the sociopath was in the same house - now is close by! Do you still have a private practice? I would appreciate your counsel.
Thanks,
pjsnu

Dear Dr. Stout,
Are you available to see or speak to private patients. ? I am having diificulty with dealing with a sociopathic sister and elderly mother. Linda