Martha S.

Just read your book... Fascinating!

Dear Ms. Stout,
I just finished your book, The Sociopath Next Door, recommended by an LCSW to help me deal with my younger brother. WOW... Very informative and helpful. After reading the "rules" this great sadness came over me, much like Hannah had. Being a Christian I keep thinking, God is big and do anything. I was reminded of the scripture Matthew 10:16
I am sending you out as sheep to the (world) of woves; Be as wise as serpants and gentle as a dove.

Kind of paraphrased but helps me too. I am meeting my brother for breakfast tomorrow and made that plan before I got to the RULES chapter. Now I know I have less anxiety about seeing him tomorrow. Lots of history for 58 years with him; now I feel I have learned much more that will help me have a brief breakfast with him and prevent his usual manipulaton and pray I don't buy into his games. I have been working on this a long time and THIS BOOK YOU WROTE has helped me a great deal. Now I need to prepare my children to protect themselves from their Uncle. My daughter is developmentally disabled and extremely vulnerable and will share your book with my son. Thank You for this,

Blessings, Linda in the desert of CA

Hi Martha
Our daughter is involved with an exact description of what is in your book. she is 26 years old and has been dating him 1 year. She will not even talk to us because we are telling her he is this way. Do not know what to do, nothing seems to work. i would really like to talk to you about it. thanks Stan caruso stancaruso@yahoo.com

The increased acceptability of divorce since the 60's might also have contributed to the recent leap from 1% sociopaths in the USA to 4%.

It seems plausable sociopaths are more likely to be divorced than nice people, this may actually increase their reproductive success, if they have a series of marriages they may end up with more offspring than if they'd stayed with one mate.

It seems concievable that strict marraige and reproduction rules (for instance who you mate with decided by elders) may be so prevalent because societies without them disintegrate genetically.

In reference to the disgraceful jump from 1% sociopaths to 4% in the USA over the 80's & 90's.

You say it is near impossible to explain this by genetics. Maybe not.

perhaps this is the outcome of the sudden and sweeping acceptability of sex outside marriage starting in the sixties.

A sociopaths is perfectly designed to charm someone just long enough to mate with them then disappear, the long term scrutiny & committment of marriage giving them a decided disadvantage.

The children of such sociopaths will have been reaching adulthood over the 80's and 90's.

You point out the Taiwanese appear to have almost no sociopaths, from personal experience the are obsessed with marriage.

You wrote " Global sociopaths come to no good end"

This has greatly damaged your credibility and makes one suspect you have hidden agendas.

The most extreme and damaging sociopaths dominate the upper strata of US society.

Most of the people who lost loved ones on 09/11/2001 came to the conclusion that the US government carried out the attack. There is overwhelming evidence to support this. They even filed a lawsuit. All 535 members of congress aided and abetted in the 911 attack and cover up.

Like many victims of sociopath who don't get believed because the sociopath seems very sincere and kind on the outer surface, you side with the sociopaths while you urinate on the victims of the 911 event and their loved ones. It make me suspect you to be a just another pawn of the global sociopaths or a sociopath yourself.

We even have former president Bush and president Obama along with congress overtly supporting torture. Before they use to carry out torture unofficially and then deny it. Supporting torture is a beaming red flag of sociopathic behavior.

We could talk about Pat Tilman being ordered assassinated by the Army and all the silence around that.

Or the hundreds of thousands of gulf war veterans disabled or killed intentionally by the vaccines.

Or the dangerous vaccines being used to covertly genocide people.

Or the looting of tens of trillions of dollars

There are just too many crimes to list.

There are enormous crimes of humanity and treason and the supposed people with compassion cover it up or look the other way.

Sociopaths run rampant on TV also (e.g. Tyra Banks, Carl Sagan, Jerry Springer, Angelina Jolie ... are just a very few) but people like you just look the other way.

I was married to a sociopath for ten years. I read excerpts of your book online and wondered if you had any advice or suggestions for handling a sociopath as far as the court system goes. I feel they are not adequately equipped to deal with a sociopath when it comes to family law. As our judge said (after a three year custody battle involving two mediators, two assessments and two psychological evaluations) "He can say anything he wants, you married him, deal with it". This is simply unacceptable to me. Everyone he encounters is afraid of to battle him. How can any court system give him partial custody of two small children and allow him to not pay a dime to help raise them? He lies constantly and gets away with it. Any suggestions you have would be appreciated. Thank you.

I have been reading your riveting book "The sociopath Next Door" and just wanted to make a comment, about the difficulty psychologists have been having calling sociopathy a disease when it causes no suffering in the person who has it, can it really be a disease.

I think the answer may be implied later in the book in the discussion about good people seeing themselves as part of something bigger than themselves, not taking an individualistis, I'm all that matters approach.

Perhaps medicine needs to take a less individualistic veiwpoint too, perhaps they need to look at communities as the unit of health, then sociopathy can clearly be seen as a disease, all the destruction, suffering and poor-productivity it causes.

Dr. Stout,

I just finished reading "The Sociopath Next Door". I am 52 and have a 54 year old sister who fits the description. I have always known she was without a conscience. She has married 3 times. Her second husband had her arrested for physically attacking him. She cried for two weeks, then moved on. She married her 3rd husband during a financial crisis, then left him the day my mom died. She had secretly been trying to get my mom to give her the family home in exchange for taking care of her (my dad died 3 years ago - my mom was an alcoholic). She tells people my husband is having affairs, then is totally nice to his face. She says I have always been jealous of her, and that I hate her. I get terribly frustrated with her, but I am more concerned about how much to interact with her. I confronted her about a month ago about several issues, and she denied or couldn't remember any of them. I said if she would admit to them, I could forgive. But if not, I knew I could never trust her. I have not spoken with her since.

My biggest concern is that she recently asked her soon-to-be ex-husband what he would do if I hired someone to hurt her. I am worried that she is projecting her intentions onto me. We live in different states, but I have teen daughters who used to idolize her, and I don't know if I should be worried for our safety.

Thank you for your thoughts.

Karen

Dear Dr. Stout,

I have read and listened to your descriptions of sociopaths. One characteristic seems to be a charasmatic personality. I wonder: my ex-boyfriend is a sociopath, I believe, but did not have a charasmatic personality. Instead, he was very quiet and used a very quiet and almost calming voice to convince me that I was crazy when he lied. He lied more than anyone else I've known in my life. He lied DAILY!, cheated on me and convinced himself and tried to convince me that it wasn't wrong. I could go on.....